Many people I know– patients, friends, family members and yes me say “I have let go of…”, or “I am trying to let go of” , or “if I only could let go of” my anger, grief, fear, annoyance… The idea of letting go is pervasive, and seductive.
The mind likes letting go because it is a technique, something to do, and the mind always wants something to do, particularly with upset. Not only does the technique give the mind something to do, we get bonus points for using it, even if it is sometimes suppression in disguise. As we effort to let go, we frequently congratulate ourselves, and consider ourselves wise or enlightened.
And yet this is just another delusion. Implicit in the idea of letting go is the idea that things are not o.k. as they are; that circumstances should be, or we should be different; that we must do something– let go, to make our situation or ourselves better.
The mental effort of trying to let go prevents us from touching the sweet excruciating reality of the moment. Things are as they are, and we aren’t happy about it. Trying to let go distracts us from the pure awareness that embraces all of our human experiences. It distracts us from our own capacity to simply let things (including ourselves) be, without resisting, fixing, or changing in any way.
The distinction is crucial. Letting go engages the mind. Letting be opens the heart. Can you open your heart to yourself, your circumstances? Can you allow the heart to cradle everything, even your desire to let go?
Experiment, for just this moment allow everything to be exactly as it is….
Please don’t confuse letting be with submission or inaction.
Often after you open yourself to your circumstances and your experience just as it is, the simple clear next step presents itself—the conversation to have, the email to send, the action to take…. And if the next step isn’t clear perhaps you can let things be unclear, until the next becomes clear.
